[21:25]
Q: How can you tell the bride at a WASP wedding? A: She's the one kissing creative commons deed the golden retriever.
"I might have liked Zap Brannigan if he weren't a pompous dimwit who threw me in prison." -Leela "You really are too picky." -Bender
Windows NT - Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
Tiddely Quiddely Edward M. Kennedy Quite unaccountably Drove in a stream. Pleas of amnesia Incomprehensible Possibly shattered Political dream.
Knowledge Engineering: A combination of: Engineering, n.: The application of science and mathematics by which the properties of matter community and the sources of energy in nature are made useful to man in structures, machines, products, systems and processes. and Knowledge, n.: Sexual intercourse. See also: Prostitution, Grantsmanship.
If coke is a joke, I'm waiting around for the next line.
Q: Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz? A: No, but I bet it hurts like hell.
And what accomplished villains these old engineers were! What diabolical ways to sabotage they found! Nikolai Karlovich von Meck, of the People's Comissariat of Railroads ... would hold forth for hours on end about the economic problems involved in the construction of socialism, and he loved to give advice. One such pernicious piece of advice was to increase the size of freight trains and not worry about heavier than average loads. The GPU exposed van Meck, and he was shot: his objective had been to wear out rails and roadbeds, freight cars and locomotives, so as to leave the Republic without railroads in case of foreign military intervention! When, not long afterward, the new People's Commissar of Railroads ordered that average loads should be increased, and even doubled and tripled them, the malicious engineers who protested became known as limiters ... they were rightly shot for their lack of faith in the possibilities of socialist transport. -- Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn, "The Gulag Archipelago"
sleepycat software: download Cocaine's a joke! (Who's got the next line?)
First you get send feedback down on your knees, Get in line in that processional, Fiddle with your rosaries, Step into that small confessional, Bow your head with great respect, There the guy who's got religion'll And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect! Tell you if your sins' original. Do whatever steps you want if If it is, try playin' it safer, You have cleared them with the Pontiff, Drink the wine and chew the wafer, Ev'rybody say his own Two, four, six eight, Kyrie eleison, Time to transubstantiate! Doin' the Vatican Rag. So get down upon your knees, Make a cross on your abdomen, Fiddle with your rosaries, When in Rome do like a Roman, Bow your head with great respect, Ave Maria, And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect! Gee, it's good to see ya, Gettin' ecstatic an' sorta dramatic an' Doin' the Vatican Rag! -- Tom Lehrer, "The Vatican Rag"
There are no potentially offensive fortunes installed on this system. For further embedded linux wins big in linux journal editors' choice awards details, contact your system administrator.
This guy makes an appointment with a doctor because his hemorrhoids are really bothering him. The doctor gives him some suppositories and tells him to come back in a week for a checkup. "How's it going?" he asks the patient a week later. "I gotta tell you the truth, Doc," said the man. "For all the good these pills did me, I coulda shoved them up my ass."
Nine out of ten men who preferred Camels have switched back to women.
Ich bin nicht übergewichtig, ich bin sequoia 2000 ftp server home page nur untergroß.
The wages of sin are high -- db2 articles unless you know someone who does it for nothing.
"If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce" -- Winston Churchill
Hire the handicapped -- itmweb they're fun to watch!
It's always darkest just before it gets pitch black.
If you think sex is a pain in the ass, try a different position.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up hdtv-antennas wars for young men to die in. -- George McGovern
"Unfairly but truthfully, our party has been tagged as being against things. Anti-immigrant, for example. And we're not a party of anti-immigrants. Quite the opposite. We're a party that welcomes people." George W. Bush July 1, 2000 Spoken while in Cleveland, Ohio.
Newlywed groom: Honey, I have something to confess to you. I'm a golfer. You'll never see me on Tuesday nights, Thursday nights, and weekends. I'm sorry. Newlywed bride: I have something even worse to confess, dear. I'm a hooker. Groom: Oh, honey, that's no problem! Just keep your head low and follow through...
"By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect 'Hungry' ..." -- Gary Larson, "The Far Side"
Hear about... one penile mysql mssql oracle migrate sybase desensitizer that's so effective that you have to stroke the tube for five minutes to get the cap off?
Hello, friend! You say things aren't going too well? You say you have a date with your favorite girl when it starts raining so hard you can't see? And you're out on some back road when the car stalls and won't start, so you set off accross the fields, and 50 feet of barbed wire hits you right smack in the puss? And then there's a big explosion behind you and you don't hear your girl screaming any more? Well, take a walk in the sun and hold your head up high! You'll show the world; you'll tell them where to get off! You'll never give up, never give up, never give up -- that ship!
For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. -- H. L. Mencken
Leela: "We've blown out one of our engines." Fry: "Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it... fix it, fix it, fix it!"
Tip of the day: The free encryption / cryptographic libraries and source code (thefreecountry.com) Windows 95 CD-ROM makes an excellent skeet shoot target.
Mom's son: "Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of a woman scorned."
Bennett's Laws of Horticulture: (1) Houses are for people to live in. (2) Gardens are for plants to live in. (3) There is no such thing as a houseplant.
If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world? -- Richard Nixon
Fry: So, there's an infinite number claimsprospector of parallel universes? Professor: No, just the two. Fry: Oh, well, I'm sure that's enough.
"Calling J-Man Kink. Calling J-Man Kink. Hash missile sighted, target Los Angeles. Disregard personal feelings about city and intercept."
8 Reasons Why a Beer is Better Than a Woman: (1) You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod. (2) A beer doesn't care when you come. (3) Beer doesn't have a mother. (4) Beer doesn't need much closet space. (5) A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Playboy "just for the articles". (6) Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks. (7) Beer doesn't always want to go to the 'powder room' with everyone else's beer. (8) When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn't make you ill.
If you h21007 explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.
Isn't it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously?
"It's not Camelot, but it's db2 universal database multiple vulnerabilities not Cleveland, either." -- Kevin White, mayor of Boston
My products girlfriend's favorite erotic position is bending over my credit cards.
Long ago I proposed that unsuccessful candidates for the Presidency be quietly hanged, as a matter of public sanitation and decorum. The sight of their grief must have a very evil effect upon the young. -- H.L. Mencken, "A Carnival of Buncombe"
dataconv He whom opens thee Windows invites the bugs in.
If it's too good to be true, it's probably a rigged demo. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo. -- From a Slashdot.org post oracle migrate mysql mssql in response to screenshots posted of Microsoft's X-Box gaming console
Ever since prehistoric times, wise men have tried to understand what, exactly, make people laugh. That's why they were called "wise men." All the other prehistoric people were out puncturing each other with spears, and the wise men were back in the cave saying: "How about: Would you please take my wife? No. How about: Here is my wife, please take her right now. No How about: Would you like to take something? My wife is available. No. How about ..." -- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny"
Then there was the middle-aged businessman who took his spouse to Paris. After traipsing with her from one mansion du couture to another, be begged for a day off to rest and got it. With the wife gone shopping again, he went to the Ritz Bar and picked up a luscious parisienne. They got on well until the question of money came up. She wanted a hundred American dollars; he offered fifty. They couldn't get together db2 is the next logical eserver convergence on the price; so they didn't get together. That evening he escorted his wife to one of the nicer restaurants on the Rue de Rivoli, and there he spotted his gorgeous babe of the afternoon seated at a table near the door. "See, monsieur?" she said as they passed her. "Look what you got for your lousy fifty bucks."
"Hello, Police Department." "This is Thomas Parrish, 903 Sylvester Court. I've just been sexually molested by a pervert, right here in my own home. It was horrifying!" "Just remain calm, sir, and tell me about it." "Well, the man came in the window wearing a ski mask. I was napping on the bed, in just my pajamas, and the TV set was on so I didn't hear anything. Suddenly he had his great big old callused hand over my mouth, holding me down. I tried to scream... he was pulling my pants off. I was so frightened! He held a knife to my throat and undressed so quickly. What could I do? I couldn't stop him. He was huge. embedded linux consortium - championing the advancement of embedded linux A great, hairy, beefy man, more than fifty pounds heavier than I am, and hung like... Oh! it was terrible. He had an erection, and he knelt on my shoulders and forced the awful thing down my throat; forced me to suck it. Yes, officer! There was no escaping this man. Finally, when I thought I would faint, he got off me and turned me over on my tummy, forcing my legs apart with his knees, and oh! I'm so embarrassed to say it, he put that huge thing... It must have been a foot long, and I don't know how thick... into my... Just a minute." "What's the matter, mister?" "Listen, I have to hang up now, he's getting out of the shower."
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity -- Albert Einstein
Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #84: The CTA has complimentary pop-up timers available on request for overheated passengers. When your timer pops up, the driver will cheerfully baste you. -- Chicago Reader 5/28/82
It was the first day of a new term at Princeton, and a Texas A&M freshman was learning his way around the campus. Stopping a distinguished looking upperclassman, he inquired, "Say, buddy, can you tell me where the library is at?" "My good fellow," came the reply, "at Princeton we do not end our sentences with a preposition." "All right," said the freshman, "can you tell me where the library is at, asshole?"
One morning jnb-sep after an evening of particularly heavy drinking, a man awoke and upon rolling over in bed saw one of the ugliest women he had ever seen. As he was about to get out of bed, he looked on the floor and saw another woman even less appealing than the first. Seeing his look of wide-eyed amazement, the woman on the floor snapped, "Don't look at me like that, I was only the bridesmaid."
All bridge hands are equally likely, but some are more equally likely than others. -- Alan Truscott
A remarkable race are the Persians; They have such peculiar diversions. They make love the whole day In the usual way And save up the nights for perversions.
A spinster in Kalamazoo Once strolled after dark by the zoo. She was seized by the nape, And fucked by an ape, And she murmured, "A wonderful screw." And she added, "You're rough, yes, and hairy, But I hope -- yes I do -- that I marry A man with a prick Half as stiff and as thick As the kind that you zoo-keepers carry."
Fuck'em if they can't take most popular articles on sql server, oracle and xml a joke!
100 buckets of bits on the bus 100 buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground FE buckets of bits on the bus ad infinitum...
Optimization hinders evolution.
Computer: "Leela, you've got mail. It's not spam!"
/earth is 98% full linuxdevices.com -- search page ... please delete anyone you can.
Gourmet, n.: Anyone whom, when you fail to finish something strange or revolting, remarks that it's an acquired taste and that you're most popular articles on sql server, oracle and xml leaving the best part.
He used to kiss her on her lips, but it's all over now.
Zoidberg: Muy macho. Hey, gringos, here comes El Zoido to ruin your drinking water!
The outraged husband discovered his wife in bed with another man. "What is the meaning of this?" he demanded. "Who is this fellow?" "That seems like a fair question," said the wife, rolling over. "What IS your name?"
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm. free script hosting: free cgi hosting, mailing list hosting, search engine hosting, message board hosting (thefreecountry.com) -- Publius Syrus
Right now hundreds of Anonymous Cowards are cheering the fact that only Windows boobs are victims of ILOVEYOU and other email viruses. I realize Outlook is so insecure that using it is like posting a sign outside your door saying, "DOOR UNLOCKED -- ROB ME!". However, Linux isn't immune. If I had a dollar for every pine buffer iseries network overflow uncovered, I could buy a truckload of fresh herring. I expect the next mass email virus to spread will be cross-platform. If the recipient is a Windows/Outlook luser, they'll get hit. If the recipient is a Linux/pine user, they'll find themselves staring at a self-executing bash script that's has just allocated 1 petabyte of memory and crashed the system (or worse). Either that or the next mass email virus will only damage Linux systems. I can just see Bill Gates assigning some junior programmer that very task. Be afraid. Be very afraid. -- A speech given at the First Annual Connecticut Conspiracy] Convention (ConConCon) by an anonymous creature said to be "wearing what appeared to be a tuxedo".
Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake.
The sex act is the funniest thing on the face of this earth. -- Diana Rigg
Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out.
the power and magic of lpg Garbage In -- Gospel Out.
Answers to Last Fortune's Questions: (1) None. (Moses didn't have an ark). (2) Your mother, by the pigeonhole principle. (3) I don't know. (4) Who cares? (5) 6 (or maybe 4, or else 3). Mr. Alfred J. Duncan of Podunk, Montana, submitted an interesting solution to Problem 5. (6) There is an interesting solution to this problem on page 1029 of my book, which you can pick up for $23.95 at finer bookstores and bathroom supply outlets (or 99 cents at the table in front of Papyrus Books).
A shy young man, preparing himself for what he hoped would be the ultimate sex act with a pretty young lady, went into a drugstore to inquire about sizes and styles of condoms. The lusty proprietress, a buxom widow, saw an opportunity for fun at the lad's expense. "Come in the back and try some on for size," she said, taking his hand. The widow unzipped the youth's fly and watched the small instrument grow in her hand as she measured it. When the weapon had unfurled to a rosy seven and linuxdevices.com influential executives interview series a half inches, the young man, unable to contain himself, had an orgasm with a tremendous discharge. After recovering, he asked the widow if she could now give him the proper size. "I'll do more than that," she said. "I'll give you free meals and a half interest in the store."
A madam who ran a bordello Put come in her pineapple jello, For the rich, sexy taste And not wanting to waste That greasy kid stuff from a fellow.
Sex kommt dem Siegen in die Quere. -- Jim Courier, Tennisspieler
I wouldn't fuck her with your prick.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. -- Earl Wilson
An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in cisco press your future.
"Keep good relations with the Grecians." George W. Bush June 12, 1999 As quoted in The Economist.
One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio changes to one quarter as many ... -- Anthony Chevins
Good day for a change of scene. Repaper the bedroom wall.
Hobbes : Well, sponsor > view > logos you still have afternoons and weekends Calvin : That's when I watch TV.
I am an atheist, thank God!
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too good either if you speak when your head is empty.
Operation Desert Slash WASHINGTON, D.C. -- High officials in the US military are planning on putting the 'Slashdot Effect' to use against Iraq. Pentagon computer experts think that the Slashdot Effect could topple key Net-connected Iraqi computer systems. Such a Denial of Service attack could prove instrumental when the US invades. One Pentagon official said, "If I had a million dollars for every server that crashed as a result of being linked on Slashdot, I'd be richer than Bill Gates. The Slashdot Effect is a very powerful weapon that the US military wants to tap into." Rob Malda has been contacted by top military brass. According to anonymous sources, Malda will play a key part in the so-called "Operation Desert Slash". Supposedly Malda will post several Slashdot articles with links to critical Iraqi websites right when the US invasion is set to begin. Meanwhile, Pentagon operatives will begin a series of Denial of Service attacks on other key Iraqi computer systems. One source notes, "Since many Iraqi systems rely on Microsoft software, this task should be relatively simple."
With deep concern, if not alarm, Dick noted that his friend Conrad was drunker than he'd ever seen him before. "What's the trouble, buddy?", he asked, sliding onto the stool next to his friend. "It's a woman, Dick," Conrad replied. "I guessed that much. Tell me about it." "I can't," Conrad said. But after a few more drinks his tongue en and resolution both seemed to weaken and, turning to his buddy, he said, "Okay. It's your wife." "My wife!!" "Yeah." "What about her?" Conrad pondered the question heavily, and draped his arm around his pal. "Well, buddy-boy," he said, "I'm afraid she's cheating on us."
"I'd love to go out with you, but it's my parakeet's bowling night."
Where do you want Bill Gates to go today? -- From a grant Slashdot.org post
Lady Luck brings added income today. Lady friend takes it away tonight.
Zapp: You win again, gravity!
"So.. humans have easily injured knees. My race will find this information very useful indeed. Mwahwahahahaha!" --Morbo
Rule of Creative Research: (1) Never draw what you can copy. (2) Never copy what you can novell trace. (3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.
I walked on toward Ploughwright, thinking about feces. What a lot we had found out about the prehistoric past from the study of fossilized dung of long-vanished animals. A miraculous thing, really; a recovery from the past from what was carelessly rejected. And in the Middle Ages, how concerned people who lived close to the world of nature were with the feces of animals. And what a variety of names they had for them: the Crotels of a Hare, the Friants of a Boar, the Spraints of an Otter, the Werderobe of a Badger, the Waggying of a Fox, the Fumets of a Deer. Surely there might be some words for the material so near to the heart of Ozy Froats [an academic studying feces] than shit? What about the Problems of a President, the Backward Passes of a Footballer, the Deferrals of a Dean, the Odd Volumes of a Librarian, the Footnotes of a Ph.D., the Low Grades of a Freshman, the Anxieties of an Untenured Professor? -- Robertson Davies, "The Rebel Angels"
Christian, n.: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far what ibm has in store as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
Hear about... the absent minded sculptor who put his model to bed and started chiseling on his wife?
I have yet to removing variable length row indicators see any problem, however complicated, which, when looked at in the right way, did not become still more complicated. -- Poul Anderson
Leela: Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking on in there?
Seems like this duck waddles into a pharmacy, waddles up to the prescription counter and rings the bell. The pharmacist walks up and asks, "Can I help you?". The duck replies, "Yes, I'd like a box of condoms, please." "Certainly", says the pharmacist, "will that be cash or would you like me to put it on your bill?" Snarls the duck, "Just what kind of duck do you think I am?"
Alex came home from a business trip to Chicago and found no one home but his daughter Rose, who was crying bitterly. "What's the matter, darling?" asked Alex. "Mommy almost died last night," sobbed Rose. "That's nonsense," said the father. "Why do you say that?" "Well," said Rose,"you always told us that when we die we'll see God; so when I heard Mommy moaning last night I rushed to her bedroom and she was screaming, "Oh God, here I come," and she would have but Uncle Jerry held her down."
tear leather: To become excited, as in the sentence "Robin Hood tore jdbc[tm] connector his leather jerkin' off."
Linux: Because a PC is a terrible thing to waste.
A woman is driving down the street, her ten-year-old daughter belted into the passenger seat. The daughter asks "Mommy, how old are you?" The mother says "That's a personal question. It's not nice to ask people personal questions." The daughter thinks a while, then asks "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" The mother replies "That's a personal question too. I'm not going to tell you." Chastised, the daughter asks no more questions. The mother parks the car. "I'm going to see Mrs. Tristan for a couple of minutes. You stay here in the car and watch my purse." After the mother leaves, the daughter removes her mother's driver's license from the purse, studies it for a few minutes and replaces it. When her mother returns they drive off. The little girl comments: "Mommy, I know how old you are. You're 32." "That's right! How did you know?" "And you weigh 119 pounds." "Did you look in my purse?" "And I know why you and Daddy divorced." "You *do*?" "Yes," said the daughter. "Because you flunked sex!"
Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it. -- wisdomforce Tallulah Bankhead
Monday, n.: In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Help a swallow land at Capistrano.
Don't accept rides from strange men -- and remember that all men are strange as hell. -- Robin Morgan, "Sisterhood Is Powerful"
Hell hath no limits, nor is circumscribed in one self place, for where we are is products Hell, and where Hell is there must we ever be. -- Christopher Marlowe, "Doctor Faustus"
Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, replied: "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."
Real programmers don't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are, after all, the illiterate's form of documentation. Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how much good it did them.
It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us believe there are. -- Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid)
Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS agent is going to want to spend hours poring over a sweat-stained document. So even if you owe money, you can put in for an enormous refund and the agent will probably give it to you, just to avoid an audit. What does he care? It's not his money. -- Dave Barry, "Sweating Out Taxes"
People icewalkers often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future.
Famous last words: Don't worry, I can handle it.
He hated to mend, so young Ned Called in a cute neighbor instead. Her husband said, "Vi, When you stitched up his torn fly, Did you have to bite off the thread?"
The nice thing about Windows is - It does not just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first.
Mustgo, n.: Any item of food that has been sitting in the refrigerator so long it has become a science project. -- Sniglets, "Rich Hall & Friends"
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Flon's Law: There is not now, and never will be, a language in redhat which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.
Q: How do you make an elephant float? A: You get two scoops of elephant and some rootbeer...
"I am not convinced that they can write solid stable software. Proprietary software is already hobbled by it's secretive cathedral nature, but Microsoft seems to have a corner on incompetent programming as well." -- Chris DiBona from the introduction. (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates)
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me jdbc downloads and specifications than a frontal lobotomy."
Psychiatry is quite similar to prostitution, only less honest. They both promise to make people feel better, but the prostitute doesn't make pretensions that the feelings will last once the client walks out the door.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. -- W. C. Fields
"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in a bar. "How do you know?" the friend asked. "She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her where she'd been she said she'd spent the night with her sister Shirley." "So?" "So, she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister Shirley."
Give me the Luxuries, and the Hell with technical topics - web services the Necessities!
Real Users never know what they want, adobe press but they always know when your program doesn't deliver it.
"I'd love to go out with you, theacolyte but I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling."
Is Linux A Finnish Conspiracy? WASHINGTON, DISTRICT OF CORRUPTION -- According to a report recently issued by the NSA (No Such Agency), Finland is now considered a national economic and security risk. "We don't trust the Finns... software written by these people could potentially contain backdoors that could undermine domestic security," the report states. In response to the news, US Senator Fatcatte (R-WA) has proposed a bill, the It's For The Children Act of 2000, that would ban all software written by native-born Finns. "It's time we take the Finnish threat seriously," Fatcatte said at a press conference. "Not only is sams publishing Finn software a threat to domestic tranquility, but it could radically alter the computer industry, costing us thousands of jobs... and, more importantly, billions in tax revenue. We must prevent the Finns from subverting our economy with so-called 'open-source software'." He then asked, "Is anybody thinking of the children of programmers who will become unemployed when Finnish software overruns the country?"
Q: What did the little ghetto-dweller get for Christmas? A: reeconveyors Your bicycle.
The most pressing issue facing women today is finding a contraceptive jelly that smells like a fresh fruit salad.
"Where'd she get those crow's wisdomforce feet?" "You really want to know?" "Yeah." "From squinting and screaming, 'Suck what!?'"
Zoidberg: This letter has to be very personal, so I'm writing it in my own ink.
Bob Barker: "I may be against the fur industry, but that won't stop me from skinning you alive... as long as no one wears the skin." Fry: "How can I live my creative commons deed life if I can't tell good from evil?" Bender: "Ah, they're both fine choices, whatever floats your boat."
Well, it seems that there was this traveling saleswoman whose car broke down, late at night, in the middle of a torrential downpour. Hoping to find a phone she ran to a nearby farmhouse. When she was unable to find a garage still open, the farmer told her that, while they were short of beds, she could sleep with his daughter. The daughter proved to eighteen and beautiful. So they went to bed, and shortly afterward, the saleswoman rolled over toward the daughter and said, "Dear, I'm sure that you're aware that some women like... to be with... other women. Let me be frank..." "No!" interrupted the daughter, sternly. "This time *I* want to be Frank!"
He thought he saw an albatross That fluttered 'round the lamp. He looked again gql - generic sql library and saw it was A penny postage stamp. "You'd best be getting home," he said, "The nights are rather damp."
Windows hasn't increased computer literacy. It's just lowered the standard. -- From a Slashdot.org post
"I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day cause that means it's going to be up all night." -- Steven Wright
A crusader's wife slipped jdbc overview from the garrison And had an affair with a Saracen. She was not oversexed, Or jealous or vexed, She just wanted to make a comparison.
Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.
One must have a heart of stone sponsor > view > logos to read the death of Little Nell by Dickens without laughing. -- Oscar Wilde